With how divorce rates have continued to surge in the past couple of years, it’s no surprise that the media sees this as a hot topic. There are a variety of reasons for this and the increase doesn’t reflect a problem with marriage, but rather shows a cultural shift in society and what we want out of life.

In 2019 the divorce rate was the highest for 5 years, with 107,599 opposite-sex couples divorcing and 822 same-sex couples divorcing.  

So, what are the real reasons for why more couples are getting divorced?

Cultural Shifts‍

Traditional attitudes towards careers and relationships have shifted, with a growing tendency to view both areas as unconfined by any rigidity. Naturally, this approach has begun to filter down into the way we view relationships and the idea of ‘forever’ in a marriage. These days, people no longer feel the need to follow a strictly linear journey and are not as worried to divorce if necessary. 

Lack of Similar Values / Different Priorities ‍

Emotional priorities and feeling satisfied on a deeper level in marriage have taken priority over the outdated ideals of economic stability. Sharing similar values has become more of a key necessity for many relationships and marriages. So, when a couple begins to realise that their values don’t align this can often be a dealbreaker, as they no longer feel emotionally supported or understood. 

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The pandemic and self-isolation have also played a big role in this, forcing people to re-evaluate their priorities and values in a time of unpredictability and uncertainty. For couples, that means spending a prolonged amount of time together and often finding out that beliefs/values don’t align with one another, which can lead to a sense of dissatisfaction and incompatibility. 

Living Longer‍

Because we live a lot longer, in comparison to our ancestors, people will inevitably change over such a period. Major milestones and life will impact an individual’s needs, their understanding of themselves and their identity. Whilst this can often bring people closer, it can also reveal the cracks, and the spaces in which emotional priorities do not align. 

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Women can sometimes go through re-evaluations of identity after having put their career on hold, realising later that they want more opportunity and purpose in life. Menopause can also greatly affect a woman’s sense of worth, making them question if their purpose is simply to procreate. A lot of women also realise at a later stage that they don’t want children and want to focus on their careers, a decision that reflects our cultural shift in society. Couples may start off having a shared vision of success but so many external factors can affect this, and down the line things can change. Rather than growing together, people can grow apart. 

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All these reasons contribute towards the steady rise of divorce in society. However, rather than viewing these reasons in a negative way, we can see how it results in opening yourself to more opportunities that an unhappy and unsatisfactory marriage prevents you from exploring. Taking the power to grab control of your own narrative is a strong and positive decision.