If you are on your own this valentines, this is a great exercise to help you focus on loving the one person who needs it most and who you a probably neglecting. You. 

‍

Our need for love is fundamental to our survival. In fact it proven during some horrendous studies in the 50’s with apes that a baby cannot survive without it. As we grow our need for love or at the very least connection is again a survival instinct we are colonial creatures because back in the stone age it was the difference between life and death and our needs have not changed, it has grown into a need for acceptance from others whether it is our family, our friends, our partners our children. This can easily manifest into looking for validation and acceptance from others and neglecting our own needs and being able to meet our own need for love. 

‍

Self love is a bit of a buzz word these days, but many of us are too embarrassed or to busy pleasing others to really practice it. The concept of loving ourselves can feel uncomfortable. Society would have us believe that praising ourselves is arrogant, loving ourselves is self indulgent and narcissistic. Instead we end of overly self critical and looking for love in all the wrong places. 

‍

How we treat ourselves that sets the bar for others. After all if you can’t love yourself and treat yourself with respect, how can we expect others to? If you are a parent what example does this set for our children? 

‍

There is a reason you are told to put your mask on first on a plane. As a Mother I struggle with this concept, every time I board a flight I feel a slight panic at the thought of not putting my children's mask on first. But then I play the scenario in my head of putting one of their masks on without mine and not having enough oxygen to get my other child’s mask on in time. The truth is you can’t help others if you are not looking after yourself. If you struggle with the idea of investing in self love for yourself, do it for them. 

‍

For many of my clients self-love sounds like a good idea but they are not sure what self love means let alone how to practice it.  If you are ready to start showing yourself the love and respect you deserve then this  exercise will help you work out what self-love is for you and how you can practice self love so you can take control of you own happiness and inspire others.